WARNING: Sarcasm overdose. Consider yourself warned!
So, I wish I could say I’ve had a few glasses of wine before writing this….but I haven’t. Why, you ask? It can’t be that the liquor store in BFE Tooele, Utah, closes at 7PM….just cant be!
My First Pregnancy – It Began!
With my first pregnancy and daughter, I had no clue about pregnancy and birth. I was 18, to be exact. Placenta could have been the latest disease or fashion faux pas. I wouldn’t have guessed it was the sole source of my growing baby’s nutrition. I was just at the legal age to own my body, no less another human being and an infant at that. It should be illegal.
My Second Pregnancy – Time for Some Edja-Ma-Kashion
No caffeine, pre-natals, purchased every naturally birthing and pregnancy book, watched every documentary, went to birthing classes and was determined to have a natural birth. Hired a Doula. I then breastfed, co-sleeping for 14 months, exclusively.
My Third Pregnancy – A Realization Occurred.
Caffeine, lounging on the couch all damn day. Flaming hot Cheetos, a whole bag, at least once every other day or so. Did not breastfeed, after 3 months.
AND I can tell you, ALL my children are EQUALLY annoying.
Do I believe you should give your child the best start possible? Hell, Yeah! BUT – We shouldn’t stress if we can’t do whatever the new trend is, our children will go up to be the next Lindsay Lohan. I think not! Not only that, you could be a cannibalistic piranha, and still be a better parent than hers.
Oops! I Broke My Kids
I was told, if I got the epidural, my child would be born not only drugged, but addicted to drugs. Yeeeeeah, not so much! Seriously, we have struggled, but refrained from allowing her any illegal substances and I guess, she kicked the habit. Plus, drugs are too expensive in this economy anyway.
I still can’t get over the fact that my youngest who has been sucking her thumb since before she was born, has perfect teeth and my middle who never sucked on anything is in thousands of $ worth of braces. kids just mess with you no matter how good your intentions.
Haha, too funny
laughed right along with you .. great pic
We have to do what works for us and our lifestyle. As far as an epidural – I was on bedrest for all 3 of my kids – go through a non medicated delivery after all that mess! No way.
Loved the blog. Also not a wine and beer drinker – so some nights after the kids are a sleep, daddy makes me a nice stiff drink! And you sure can buy some alcohol after 7:00pm where I live!
CJ
Your lucky! I wish the hubs would make me a hard drink, every now and then! He must be a keeper.
Utah’s weird like that with alcohol. Next time your drinking, send me some alcy vibes. ;o)
Yeah. You can buy wine and beer at places but no good liquor. I’m not a fan of beer or wine.
See, you cant buy wine our malt beverages in any gas station or grocery store here. Its kinda weird…
So true. But boy our liquor store closes at like 5:30pm.
Thanks! Really, cause I thought mo-ville Utah was the worst? Can you boy liquor in the gas stations?